Tomorrow May 12^th is Birthmother’s Day. Birthmothers are those women who chose to give their child life through adoption.

Created by a group of birthmothers in Seattle,Washington, Birthmother’s Day invites us to reflect on the choice birthmothers made and the life they gave. While there is joy in knowing that life goes on for both birthmother and child, most birthmothers note a pain associated with Mother’s Day – Birthmother’s Day honors their birthmotherhood.

For nearly two decades, Feminists for Life has worked to ensure that birthmothers are remembered and included in pro-woman legislation and campus solutions, legislation and solutions which support the choice of adoption in face of an unplanned pregnancy.  To fashion real support, we must raise and truly listen to the voices of birthmothers – like former FFL board member Jessica O’Connor-Petts who knows firsthand that “Adoption is an empowering choice for women.”

FFL has listened and heard the voice of birthmothers.  For a woman to choose to make an adoption plan, with or without the participation of the child’s father, she needs practical assistance as well as emotional support and counseling before and after the adoption.

 She needs unconditional support for her choice.

Unconditional support must come from parents, family and friends, counselors and adoption agencies, schools and workplaces, and prospective adoptive parents.  Every woman making an adoption plan for her child should feel that she is fully informed, and is not coerced by individuals or by circumstances or lack of support.  She must know that her personal and individual choices are honored from the beginning of her pregnancy and throughout the rest of her life.

Unconditional support means offering a complete range of services and resources to meet all of the needs of each birthmother.

1.  Birthmothers often need practical support to help meet living expenses, including housing, food, phone, and legal fees.

 2.  Available resources must include understanding and flexibility from educators throughout her pregnancy.

 3.  Employers must support a birthmother’s choice to give life. Birthmothers are entitled to the same pregnancy leave granted to other pregnant employees under the Family and Medical Leave Act. A birthmother needs postpartum care for both her physical and emotional well-being, and she should have access to the same leave benefits, paid or unpaid, as those extended for recovery after any employee gives birth.

4.  All birthmothers should receive a full range of quality medical care, including pre- and post-natal care, counseling, and education regarding birth and, if she chooses, breastfeeding.

5.  A birthmother needs to know her options once the baby is born.  She may want time with the baby once born, a chance to introduce the child to family and friends.  As Jessica said, “I had to say hello before I could say goodbye.” There should be transition options such as an “entrustment ceremony.”  The birthmother needs to decide what sort of contact she would like to have with the adoptive family, including visits, cards, photos, etc., depending on the level of openness both birthparents and adoptive parents are comfortable with.  And she also deserves privacy and respect, and to have control over who is told about the adoption, what they are told, by whom, and when.

6.  Counseling both before and after the adoption takes place is a critical service.  Responsible, ethical adoption policy requires that birthparents are fully informed and supported before, throughout and after the adoption process and that they receive complete information regarding their legal rights and responsibilities.  Unconditional support means every birthmother needs and deserves ongoing support and respect from each one of us, and access to counseling and birthmother support groups.

It can be tempting to romanticize the choice of adoption and the birthmother, viewing her as selfless and overlooking her actual feelings, needs and experiences. This is why FFL advocates for birthparents, and why we listen to their stories.  We honor birthmothers by acknowledging that their experiences are unique, characterized by mixed emotions.  Their feelings may change over time.  For most who have made the thoughtful, loving decision that adoption was the best choice for them and their children, we must recognize that they often experience a sense of loss and their need for support and affirmation is ours to fulfill.

There is no “one size fits all” solution for every woman facing unplanned pregnancy or every birthparent who makes an adoption plan for her child.  With your support for FFL, we can provide them with the full array of choices, educational resources, and emotional support they deserve.

FFL President Serrin M. Foster has led Feminists for Life since 1994, and is the creator of the Women Deserve Better^® than Abortion campaign. This post is an excerpt from Foster’s article in the upcoming issue of The American Feminist^® published by Feminists for Life of America.  Before Roe, FFL said “no” to abortion–and yes to life.  FFL’s 40th anniversary issue will also focus upon the needs of other at-risk populations that FFL serves including poor and working poor pregnant women, victims of coercion and violence (abortion, sex trafficking, domestic violence and sexual assault), pregnant and parenting students in college, and those in the workplace.  To join FFL in advance of publication, please go to http://feministsforlife.org/support/index.htm.  Tell them you heard about FFL on NewFeminism.co!  Thank you.

Girls Deserve Better than Statutory Rape and Secret Abortions:   Would you let some man take your daughter to surgery without telling you? How about taking her across state lines?

Unbelievably, there is no legal protection against taking a child across state lines for an abortion even if you live in a state that requires parental notification or approval for an abortion upon a child.

Who takes under-aged, pregnant girls across state lines for abortion?  ~most often, it’s noncustodial, older men who are sexual predators seeking to conceal the crime of statutory rape or other noncustodial adults involved in sex trafficking of minors.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness month.

Feminists for Life has long championed protections against sexual assault.  We are the only pro-life member of a task force which helped pass the Violence Against Women Act and we are the only feminists who testified before the US House Judiciary in support of the Unborn Victims of Violence Act (Laci and Connor’s Law).

Feminists for Life opposes all forms of violence against women and children – including abortion and rape.  Every rape is non-consensual.  Every rape is forced.  Every rape is wrong.  There are no exceptions.  There are no exceptions for sexual assaults committed by family members or friends.  There are no exceptions for sexual assault by strangers, sex traffickers or johns, for statutory rape of minors or group sexual assaults, for sexual assaults of boys or for rape by coercion or facilitated by alcohol or drugs (such as Rohypnol).  Whether domestic or international, every rape is wrong.  and justice for all.

Feminists for Life demands an end to violence and discrimination in every circumstance.  We encourage efforts that prevent violence against women through resources, support and education. We favor prosecution of those who commit acts of violence against women and children.

Feminists for Life urges consistency in our laws, focus on prevention, and provision of support for those who have experienced various forms of violence.  Rapists should be prosecuted no matter if the victim becomes pregnant or not, no matter if she has an abortion, miscarriage or live birth.  And it goes both ways.  If the rapist is a woman preying on minor boys, the adult is responsible. 

Our consistent belief in feminist principles is why we support passage of the Child Interstate Abortion Notification Act (CIANA), H.R. 2299.

The U.S. House Judiciary Subcommittee on the Constitution recently voted to support CIANA.  If passed, CIANA would provide up to a one year imprisonment for anyone who performs an abortion on an out of state minor not accompanied by a parent.  Rep Ileana Ros-Lehtinen has 158 co-sponsors and bipartisan support; Senator Marco Rubio has introduced a companion bill in the Senate.

Opponents of the bill argue that in some circumstances pregnant girls turn to adults not their parents for help in crisis pregnancy.  If these adults, such as grandmothers or adult sisters cannot assist the teen in procuring an abortion across state lines, opponents argue, then minors will seek unsafe alternatives to terminate pregnancy.

Experts reject this argument.  Dr. Bruce Lucero – who has performed over 45,000 abortions – cautioned that men who get minors pregnant, not the minors’ parents, are the issue.   Dr. Lucero wrote in the New York Times,

“. . . a parent’s input is the best guarantee that a teen-ager will make a decision that is correct for her—be it abortion, adoption or keeping the baby. And it helps guarantee that if a teenager chooses an abortion, she will receive appropriate medical care.”

Teenagers seeking abortions out of state, Dr. Lucero added, often delay until the procedure is more expensive and riskier.  Without parental involvement, pregnant minors are less likely to return to clinics for follow-up care or tell their parents they are suffering complications following an abortion.

Polls consistently show that 70% of Americans strongly favor parents being notified when a minor seeks an abortion, and that a majority of Americans also favor laws that would prevent the transportation of minors over state lines to circumvent parental notification.

The lives of young girls are irrevocably changed by predators who rape them then transport them for a secret abortion. Girls—as well as Women Deserve Better^® than Abortion. Parents have a right to know and a responsibility to protect their daughters.

Serrin M. Foster has lead Feminists for Life since 1994. Read Serrin’s original testimony before the US House Judiciary in support of Laci and Connor’s Act: http://www.feministsforlife.org/news/serrinuvva.htm and Serrin’s answer to the key question, “what about rape?” as it relates to abortion.  She invites you to join Feminists for Life on Facebook.  Link to  http://www.facebook.com/FeministsForLife

“When a man steals to satisfy hunger, we may safely conclude that there is something wrong in society—so when a woman destroys the life of her unborn child, it is an evidence that either by education or circumstances she has been greatly wronged.”  Mattie Brinkerhoff, The Revolution ● 1869

When I created the slogan “Women Deserve Better^® than Abortion, I didn’t simply mean saying “no” to abortion, it meant saying “yes” to the resources that support pregnant women and their children—before and after birth.

Abortion is a reflection that we have not met the needs of women. Abortion masks the unmet needs of women in the workplace, schools, home and society. Abortion hurts the most vulnerable in society—the poor, the working poor, women in difficult and often abusive relationships, and students and women in the workplace whose basic needs are ignored. 

Feminists for Life is dedicated to systematically eliminating the root causes that drive women to abortion—primarily lack of practical resources and support—through holistic, woman-centered solutions. Women deserve better than abortion. 

Women have sought real solutions since entering the workforce.  Women want—and deserve—equal opportunities for pay and position in the work place.  Flex time, job sharing, and telecommuting.  Comprehensive health care.  Maternity benefits and parental leave.  Affordable, quality child care.  Shared parental responsibility.  Child support. 

Feminists for Life has been leading a similar discussion with students, administrators, and professors on college campuses.  Both students and faculty want more resources.  Affordable housing.  Financial aid and scholarship security.  Maternity coverage in student health plans.  Accessible child care.  Flexible class scheduling. Counseling services.  Publicized policies that support pregnant women and parents. Students and staff need a central place on campus to coordinate these services. 

No woman should be forced to choose between relinquishing her education and career plans or suffering through a humiliating, invasive procedure and sacrificing her child.  We refuse to choose.^®

Abortion represents a failure to listen and respond to the unmet needs of women.  Why perpetuate failure?           

Pro-life feminists recognize abortion as a symptom of, not a solution to, the continuing struggles women face in the workplace, on campus, at home, and in the world at large. 

Feminists for Life is a renaissance of the original American feminism. Like Susan B. Anthony and other early American suffragists, today’s pro-life feminists envision a better world, where no woman would be driven by desperation to abortion: 

• A world in which pregnancy, motherhood and birthmotherhood are accepted and supported. 
• Campuses and workplaces that support mothers in practical ways rather than forcing them to choose between their education or career plans and their children. 
• A society that supports the role of mothers and values the role of fathers and helps fathers provide both financial and emotional support for their children. 
• A culture where parents are respected, whether they stay at home or return to work. 

We have worked for low-income women. We have worked to prevent violence against women, including pregnant women.  We have worked to protect women from being forced into unwanted abortions. We have worked to reduce poverty among women and children, prevent coerced abortions due to threats to withhold child support, and instead encourage the active support of fathers in the lives of their children.  We have led the revolution on campus through the FFL College Outreach Program to meet the needs of college-age women who have the highest rate of abortion.  Since the College Outreach Program began in 1994, there has been a dramatic 30% decrease in abortions among college-educated women.  We believe that education is key to fighting the feminization of poverty.  Sixty-nine percent of abortions are performed on the poor, working poor and economically disadvantaged.  FFL Pregnancy Resource Forums on top campuses across the country inspired Pregnancy Assistance Fund which will, in part, help transform campuses in support of pregnant and parenting students, birthmothers.  We advocate workplace solutions that benefit both employee and employer.  And we have educated the pro-life and feminist movements about America’s rich pro-life feminist history.  

Our message that Women Deserve Better^® than Abortion is redirecting the polarized debate toward holistic, woman-centered solutions. 

When I found Feminists for Life I knew I was home. I wasn’t interested in criminalizing women who had abortion. I am driven by freeing women from abortion through resources and support. 

You too can be proud to be a part of the solutions. Join us, because women don’t have to settle for less, because there is a better way. And yes, this invitation extends to men who have a right to share in the joy and responsibility of caring for our children. 

For more reasons you can be proud to be a member of Feminists for Life, FFL President Serrin M. Foster invites you to go to www.feministsforlife.org/news click on “accomplishments” and then to the “Support Us” button.   

® Women Deserve Better, Refuse to Choose, and The American Feminist are registered trademarks of Feminists for Life of America.

FFL President Serrin M. Foster has led Feminists for Life of America since 1994. Under her leadership, FFL successfully advocated benefits for poor and pregnant women through the State Child Health Insurance Program, worked in coalition with other women’s organizations to defeat the mandatory “family cap” and other punitive child exclusion provisions in welfare reform, and helped to prevent poverty and coerced abortions due to threats to withhold child support through passage of the Enhanced Child Support Act.

Serrin served on the National Taskforce Against Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence, which worked to pass the Violence Against Women Act, and she also testified before the U.S. House Judiciary Committee in support of the Unborn Victims of Violence Act, also known as “Laci and Conner’s Law.”

The creator of the Women Deserve Better® campaign has been an outspoken opponent of pregnancy discrimination and has focused on developing on-campus resources and support for underserved pregnant and parenting students.

In January 1997, Serrin moderated the first-ever FFL Pregnancy Resource ForumSM at Georgetown University, which became a model for the country and in 2010 became the basis for Pregnancy Assistance Fund grants awarded by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Serrin’s landmark speech, “The Feminist Case Against Abortion,” has been recognized as one of the “great speeches in history” in an anthology called Women’s Rights.